|Friday, June 24th, 2005|
Yea today was a great day for me..
Got two wonderful phone calls from my guidance councelor and mr. G saying i failed my global regents and i failed chem for the year and the regents so i have to take it over next year..Yea it really sucks.
And it even sucks more when your parents have to be so fucking annoying about it and they never know when to stop. you kno when your just under so much pressure already over stupid little things that just get you so mad for no reason and you think it cant get any worse and then your parents have to come along and make it even worse. I love it i just feel so great. Oh, and i love how im not allowed to go out for most of the summer and that im "grounded" since i failed a class and failed two regents and jess goes out with dan..yea how surprising. And no matter how many times i bring that up and argue over it, nothing ever changes.
Whatever im not gunna complain over this it never gets me anywhere and it never resolves anything its just stupid little shit that just makes me so mad. I just can't believe i failed both and have to do the regents for global AGAIN and the whole course of chem over..It kinna sucks. So whatever im just gunna go and wait for mike to call me when he gets out of work..I love you and always will...Thats it for now.. Current Mood: crappy
|Sunday, June 12th, 2005|
|Bored as hell..
HmMmMm..Havent updated i a while an have no idea whut to say..
This weekend was okay i guess..lets see...
I went to mikes house around like 630 an then we went to that really good icecream place where they sing when you give them tips haha. It was YuMmMmiEee !! The only annoying part was my sister an dan yelling back an fourth over stupid shit and troy was juss being a dick....Cort and Mike were ok tho haha love you guys. So then we went back to my house an they werent allowed to come inside so they juss went home.
Hmm so yea i got up at like 7 to rush down to the city and then i found out that we werent dancing till like 130..It was stupid. My mom kept bitching about how she didnt want us in the car with Mike and Dan so jess hadda throw one of her bitchy moods an got us grounded for the weekend. So we all went down there and walked around a mall for a bit an my mom had the biggest attitude lol (thanks mike for putting up with her i love you). Me ad mike bought money pens and toilet paper..haha dont ask why lol, and then we had to dance in like 95 degree weather. Lets just say HOTT !!! geez. So then we went home and watching mike and dan in the car singing was hilarious.
So yea i got up at like 9 doing nothing just sitting here eating dunkin' doughnuts and a vanilla bean coffee coolata..YuMmMm..waiting for mike to call b4 he goes to work. Did i ever say that i love him so much and i always will? well i do. he makes me happy in every single way and i got one of those feelings that were gunna be together for a very long time. i love you (and cant forget..SmOoChEsS!! i love you 2 ! ) Current Mood: Loving mike..
|Sunday, June 5th, 2005|
|Monday, May 30th, 2005|
Saturday night i went to dance which there was no point because nobody was there and katie was teaching. But neways i went to mike's house till late with jess and dan. Cort an troy went to the movies..how cute !! lol Lets just say i had a great time. Mike makes me feel amazing..It was a funny night haha. no matter what i always love you.
So Last night i got home at like 10 having an 8 hour practice straight through it was torture. So i woke up this morning feeling like shit because hes mad at me again. Whatever i'm used to it i always do something wrong its always my fault. So i tried calling him and he wouldn't answer, i guess he's sleeping cuz he had a long day of work yesterday. It just always sucks when the only person who can make you feel happy and you can always count on them putting you in a good mood is mad at you.
But the only thing that gets me so upset is how the person i love says that i'm only 15 i can't love him or ask me if im sure. Of course i'm fucking sure. For the first time in my life i fucking feel this way about someone and i would literally die for the fucking kid and then he says i don't. I just feel like shooting myself right then and there. I don't think these feelings will ever go away no matter what happens and i wish he can just see that and understand that i love him more than anything in the world and i mean it even if im only 15.
i just had to get that off my chest sorry if i sound bitchy i don't mean it that way.
So today my family went out to the boat for a while and me and jess decided not to go. I have nobody to talk to so i'll probably be stuck doing laundry. Hopefully i can see mike today.
I'm almost done with my poem. It'll probably be the last one i write. I'm just sick of them for some reason i just hate writing now its weird. But whatever i'm probably never gunna finish it like all the rest of them. Nobody to talk to so i guess i'll go do something. Like nebody's reading this anyway haha
I really love you and i hope you know that.. Current Mood: crappy
|Friday, May 27th, 2005|
Things just suck for me right now. Stressed about tons of shit.
Don't feel like explaining, but its mostly about lots of stupid things no one would understand. Dance has never sucked so much in my whole life. This is the worst year ive ever had in this fucking academy. Ever since jess left i was ignored and it just felt like she was getting all the attention. I guess it was because she was the one who needed the help, and my parents think they don't have to worry about me. But once she came back its been even worse. I just feel kinna useless. My grades and how im basically failing every single class, and mostly how im not happy about myself at all. I never really was but my confidence is so low i cant even control it. I get so jealous of people all the time and it juss makes me feel like shit. I dont know noone will ever understand, i can't explain it. It's one of those non-important things that lori will juss get over. Even though people tell me you know lori your goegeous and don't say your fat cuz your not even close..Even though people say that to me i just don't fucking see it. I wish i could but i just don't. Once again, hard to explain. I'm just so stressed out and i don't wanna fucking feel this way.
I love mike tho hes the only thing good for me right now. I love you so much. Current Mood: stressed
|Sunday, May 8th, 2005|
|i hate fake bitches
first off id like to say that megan is a fucking bitch and she was supposed to teach me a dance and instead she goes out with her friends an ditches me so that really got me mad. so to get out i went to valleypalooza where dan picked me up an i was late for dance cuz i hadda see matt nd vinny an all them. they were really good. so dance was aright i went there late an then went home an was supposed to go to a party wit mike but my mom wouldnt let me out of the house. so then i woke up for today an i realized that i had practice for the fucking dance that megan never taught me. so basically i was screwedd. so i missed my tap class bc i wanted to spend time wit the family i never see ( i love nonnie lol) so i missed tap an then i came in for that dance she never taught me an tara decides to talk shit about how i missed dance for a bullshit excuse an that was a whole story but there both twofaced bitches. i thought everything was okay but i guess i was wrong an i didnt realize that there always gunna be immature an talk shit about me. so i shoulda listened to mike about all that so i feel like shit bout that. so w.e im not gunna fucking dance in a studio where all they do is talk about me an treat me like shit..mike was right. so he knos my plan. i juss wont say nething an quit thats all. so yeh i also had this big english paper due tomorrow an i realized that i didnt fucking bring my books home...i have absolutely no idea whut im supposed to do now...w.e ill figure out something. so yea thats basically it i needa study for fucking spanish an do chem hw so im out.. i love you <3 Current Mood: ughh..........
|Friday, April 29th, 2005|
--->Whuts up pplz i havent updated in a while...besides the time that mike did for me ..haha ur funny mike . you kno whos mother is gunna look at it haha "DS" hahaha i love you. so neways nuthin new an exciting here theres been sum ups an downs but it always turns out ok so i got no worries. proms comin up an im mad excited bout that...my fucking dress is so bright i can land a plane wit that haha. hope everything turns out ok an if we ACTUALLY go lol. but its ok i got no worries bout that either. So basically all this time ive been dancing as usual which michael hates yes i kno but im almost done juss 3 more weeks. an ive been workin on this song im writing but ya kno somebody thinks its "gay" to write poems..but w.e i love you. so i havent written in a while so i decided to write one again an its ok i guess. ill prolly put it on soon. so yea ive been doin arite wit like ppl at dance..ill always be known as the whore wit dog bites on her neck but hey as long as everythings worked out i dnt need to stress over that drama nemore. so yea im sittin here while mikes out partying an my friends are at a sweet 16 so im stuck home so i might as well turn in...i love you very much an everyone else can go fuck themselves haha peace niggas haha <3 u !! Current Mood: okay
|Monday, April 18th, 2005|
hey guys wow havent updated in a while ok so lets see i had a pretty good weekend full of ups and downs but thats ok cuz arguments makes a relationship grow and then theres always makeup sex haha yesss and i love u mike i always will fuk wat otha ppl say im goin by wat i think im not a robot and ppl arent gonna make my choices anymore ya heard haha well jess gets bac from canada on tue and i think dan is going to rape her haha that boy is obsessed but its cute awww sikeeee hahaha bac to my love michael i want to hav ur baby haha im obsessed with u and i will always love and treasure u and no worries im not allergic to anything not wen im with u ill prove my love next time i see u watch hopefully u can cum haha get it cum ova tonight so we can spend some "quality time" together haha wow thats all i think about i cant help it thats jus the way i am.....aright well i hav to go until the time i see u again i will always treasure u in my heart i love u o so much peace niggas haha im so white haha lataz Current Mood: i want u mike now
|Wednesday, April 13th, 2005|
wow havent updated in days haha....yea mike im finally updating lol. yea so whats been going on lately? nothing important really juss that i love mike even when hes mean haha...this week was rough so far but thats ok no matter whut i love you an nuthins gunna change that. so im actually trying in school this week for a change..but i always forget the fukin spanish i hate that bitch..she always has sumthin to fucking say about me or mike its rediculous..but thats ok shes a bitch..so is everyone haha. so mike is out getting a job (he hopes) and im sitting here doing a fucking chem lab...you can tell im bored haha. so yeh i have to go bc all jess does is bitch at me that she needs to go on so im out..i love you mike more than life itself times infinity no stamps no blitz no override hahaha mwaaah!!
LuVs An KiSsEs,
Bubs <3 Current Mood: blank
|Sunday, April 10th, 2005|
yea so this weekend was crazy friday night was the worst night of me an mikes lives but everythings good ....hopefully everythings good wit u too...i love u. so yea i ended dance early on friday night but mike had work but thats aright i slept haha...whut else do i do these days haha. so neways last night was awesome cuz i got to go tomikes house for the night but my mom came to pick me up unexpectedly which was great, really. i hate mothers. haha. so yea i got home an had to stay home alone for a while so mike stayed on the phone wit me till like 1 an i felt really bad. but thats ok haha. so i went to dance today for a change an i actually didnt get kicked out haha an im glad. but schools tomorrow an that sucks so im out..haha i love mike to death an i hope the same here haha...lataz everyone else
LuVs An KiSsEs,
Bubs <3 Current Mood: content
|Saturday, April 9th, 2005|
im so confused an mad an upset i dont know what to say. i juss hate disappointing you and i feel like everything that happens is my fault. whutever i love you an i guess thats all that matters..
Happy 2 month Mike i love you. [and i mean it, i swear.] Current Mood: im so confused
|Friday, April 8th, 2005|
|Blah... Blah... Blah...
yea so im sittin here bored as all hell cuz i got outta dance early. but of course mike has work..its aright tho i took like a 45 minute shower and i look like the biggest dork right now haha. im fucking wearing black and red knee high socks with black booty shorts and a black an red element belly shirt on haha. i look mad dorky hah its aright tho mikes not here to make funna me haha i love you.
so neways today was aright i guess. i actually wore makeup today and mike wasnt in in school. then he stopped by for a little nd then i went to work with a bunch of fucking annoying screaming kids who give me a headache. i ask myself why i do this sometimes but w.e kids are kids. so yea now im here talking to people an im about to do my hair. i hope ill be seein you tonight after work but if not theres always tomorrow...yesssss saturday ... haha so excited. i love ur rap mike haha. so yea lataz peace niggas im out hahaha...yeah
LuVs An KiSsEs,
Bubs <3 Current Mood: blah
|Thursday, April 7th, 2005|
i want mike so bad i cant take it i want him in me omg i cant wait im so horny i want him i cant wait ughhhhh please mike give it to me now please. Current Mood: i want mike
helloooo im juss sittin here lookin out my window listening to the rain...
juss thinkin i guess.
yea so today was good i guess i had a day of school witout mike but thats ok i actually got to class on time haha.....jp jp i love you haha. but neways i went to mikes house after school but aunt flow was with us today haha..its aright tho cuz at least we hung out...but then the fucking mother ruins everything..im about to fucking kill that woman shes so fucking ughhhhh w.e no biggie im used to this shit. so yea two days till sat..cant wait mike..i love you o so much times infinity to the infinitieth power no blitz no stamps no override haha. well im out nuthin much to say lataz
LuVs An KiSsEs,
Bubs<3 Current Mood: blah
|Tuesday, April 5th, 2005|
i fucking hate wen people like JESS gets to go out with dan whos not even her BOYFRIEND..annd i cant go out with mike..bull fucking shit...i wish he was allowed to be here right now instead of watching the kids..FUCK..jess even got carvel .. haha mike i love you..so neways today was aright..I HAVENT FUCKING CHANGED..ughhhh geez people these days..so neways mike might have inschool tomorrow which means i cant fucking see him and im mad. fuck a dr fine he shouldnt be in inschool but w.e...so yea hopefully this fucking niquil shit works cuz i need some fucking sleep holy shit haha...so yea im out i love michael hes wonderful i love him more than life itself
LuVs An KiSsEs,
Bubs<3 Current Mood: NO mike...
|Monday, April 4th, 2005|
well today was fun..ha. so i got up this morning looking half way decent wen i felt like puking my brains out and my mom didn't believe me so she sent me to school. yea that was a good idea since i fucking got sick all over the nurses office. yea so that was fun. so i slept all day and can't eat anything bc my mom doesnt want me getting sick all over her house..yea i love you too mom. so im fucking starving and im hoping mike will come over soon bc i juss wanna see him so bad right now. i love him o so much more then he knows...so yea ur prolly all sick of hearing that but fuk u all its true haha. so lataz im out
LuVs An KiSsEs,
Bubs<3 Current Mood: I HATE being sick
|Sunday, April 3rd, 2005|
|what a damn night..
last night was crazy !! jess had erica ash and annie sleep over an at about 3 oclock in the morn vin mike an dan came wit sum shit an it was fun cuz i got to see michael..(i love him)but neways i think im bipolar or sumthin cuz one sec i was laughin wit mike an then i was crying for like an hr it was crazy...then me nd mike got caught an that was fun lemme tell u...i love like falling all over the place an not being able to walk up the stairs..it was nice haha. im sure mike loved my stories i grossed him out a bit haha..an vinnys story to cheer me up haha funny shit..i love you mike o so much times infinity..sry bout aunt flow haha i hate to disappoint you. but neways so nex time we do fun shit like this never again at my house hahaha.....im out hopefully my mom has no idea what went on that wuld be fun..i guess ima have to find out..
LuVs An KiSsEs,
|Saturday, April 2nd, 2005|
damn y did he have to leave thats all i have to say...i love you o so much ( cant say it enough ).ok so i went to the play tonight with mike cort an dan...it was good i guess...very long holy shit haha. but neways we drove around for a while cuz we had no where to go so we went to the diner where the whole fucking schol was there haha. then we went back to my house thank god..i thought we werent allowed to cuz its too late. but neways that was fun..i love you mike more than you'll ever know. but im eating right now its fucking awesome hahaha. aright so yea very in love right now an he had to leave like always but i cant WAIT till tomorrow night gunna b fucking awesome as hell. ughhh ok i should go to bed soon so im out
I love you o so much
LuVs An KiSsEs,
Bubs<3 Current Mood: content
|Wednesday, March 30th, 2005|
today was good i guess..i was mad tired today cuz i like can't sleep at night and im so tired now but i cant sleep at night it sucks. but neways i didn't get to hang out wit mike outside of schol today but we got the weekend ( no parents yesssss) im pissed off but i dont know why its mad weird but w.e. im juss not in the mood to like lok at neone and i don't know why...well nothing exciting tonight..
I Love you*
Bubs <3 Current Mood: tired
|Tuesday, March 29th, 2005|
i love to cry i really do. yea so i dont think ive ever loved anyone so much in my life..i cant even explain it to the point where hed ever understand. i made a fucked up mistake by calling him my x-bf's name and i feel like shit. i juss love him so much i dont wanna get hurt again like i was once before..not like anyone would understand that. its juss that he hurt me so bad and i finally got over it and i moved on..but once i realized im literally in love with mike ( yea i sed it ) im scared to death of being hurt again and it would obviously hurt so much worse cuz nobody has ever made me feel this way before. so before he left i was thinking about it and i called him that name and ill never forgive myself for that. now hes fucking mad at me and i dont know how to make him understand..and if he never does i might as well kill myself..and im not fucking joking this time cuz he is the only fucking good thing in my life. Current Mood: sad